Sunday, October 17, 2010

A new way to spend quality time

Alina has been craving one on one time lately. It's almost as though she can't get enough. I know it makes a huge difference for her because almost all behavior issues disappear when I am able to give her special time.

The problem is when do I have that time? Between school, Jasz' appointments and Bella's activities Alina kind of gets left out in the cold sometimes. Don't get me wrong, we do things special for her, but I think being the middle child she kind of needs more of a boost right now.

Well this whole weekend has been about her needing mommy time. The problem is mommy has things she needs to get done, plus there are things they want done. And there is only one mommy. So let's see...Friday night we did star gazing out at the school. Sort of... You see we got clouded out. But the amateur astronomical club who had agreed to help us with a star gazing night was awesome...they had a backup plan. They did a whole educational thing on telescopes and how they work and the different types. they also just talked about what is in the night sky in general. And then the finale...they MADE a mini comet!! The kids loved it. and the club agreed to come out again on a clear night and give our kids a chance to see the sky through a REAL telescope. I felt very proud as I had been the organizer. I had been afraid of 3 things, that students would show up and we would have nothing to see, the club would fail to show or the club would show and the students wouldn't. Everything turned out perfect and it actually set the scene educationally for a real star gazing's almost like I planned it.

Saturday morning we actually did sleep in but then we ended up being rushed. You see being a huge fan of cooking contests, I enrolled both girls in cooking classes. Alina's is earlier and it's a parent and child class. Bella's is later and it's all her own. They both love it!! and i love how it has made them want to help in the kitchen. They want to create their own recipes (especially Bella). This time the theme was Fiesta. The girls are not fans of Mexican food so John and I had what they made for dinner. YUMMY!!!

Last weekend Bella literally left the class trying to add to the recipe she had learned and made dinner (with a little help ) the next night...I think I may have found her passion!!

Following the classes I went to the store with the girls. On the heels of that I picked up Jasz from home and took the kids to a 1-year olds birthday party. Daddy stayed behind to work on much needed honey-do's.

Sunday the kids had a a much needed play-date with their God Brother's!! So you see it's not that I don't do things for or with the's just finding an activity that Alina feels special in and knows she's got my full attention!!

Well that brings me to this evening. I needed to make lunches but Alina was clearly at a point where she absolutely needed time with me. It was like if I didn't do something with her she would burst and her heart would break. So, I asked a simple question, "Alina, mommy needs to make lunches for tomorrow would you like to help?" It was like the clouds parted and it was the best idea ever. She helped with everything. Some parts went slower, but some went faster. We spilled half a bag of the puffy popcorn they like...but oh well. the $1 lost was worth the smile on Alina's face. She made her own sandwich...which hopefully means she'll eat it. And you know what after wards she quite happily scampered off to play a game on her own.

Wow is it really that simple? I felt like I was getting a chore done. She did not feel like it was work at all!! she felt like she was helping and mommy was all hers!! What a blessing this revelation is...for both of us. Now i know I don't need to move mountains and sign up for something...I just need to invite her in to my activities. Which is something all to herself. Bella is not one who really wants to help...she says she does, but quits after a minute. Jasz is too little yet. So it is just Alina's time. Looking forward to this adventure!!!

1 comment:

  1. That is so lovely...good job, Becky! I see it in Nicolas, too. I wonder if it is an age stage...I was the same with my mom at their age. I remember it VERY clearly. Those times mom made for alone time with just her and me still mean so much to me. (I should call and tell her thank you...I think I will!) One of the things my kids love is when I sing to them. Often times I will put Leila down, then go into Nicolas' room (already in bed) and lay down, talk and just sing a song or two to him. Others it's a book. Having Leila napping and Nicolas not napping is helping too. He gets to play uninterrupted card games with Daddy or cook or read with you, I see just a little of that totally correct his behavior and he is so much happier. xoxo I love reading your blog. You are such a good mom. I'm so glad I know you and have you as a helper on this journey of motherhood to close in age children! :)